23rd October 2013
Dear Journal,
As I sat on my bed recounting all
my days in the university, I couldn’t help but smile at some memories that gladdened
my heart. I remembered the words of MC Erem while he was cracking his famous
jokes in college. He said ‘beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and in the
mind of the beholdee’. The overall joke was very funny and everyone in the hall
roared with laughter but those words stuck in my mind and have been a source of
inspiration.
Like so many things under the
sun, the concept of beauty is constantly changing. This elusive attribute for many is forever
sought after by all sexes. For women, it was first characterised by
heart-shaped faces, big bust lines, flat stomachs and rounded hips. Now it
includes oval shaped faces and long faces with fuller lips than before. For men,
it has not changed very much. A man who is tall, dark or light skinned, possesses
chiselled features, broad shoulders amongst few other features is perceived as
handsome or attractive.
As vain as people try to make
beauty look, it is still people’s most prized possessions. It is the backdrop
of their confidence and self-esteem. These are attributes that can enhance or
impede success and therefore people lacking in those must be handled with
compassion. A comment like ‘beauty is only skin deep’ is true but is usually made
by people who were first attracted to it, stuck with it for a while and was maybe
hurt and disappointed by it.
Beauty in the eyes of the
beholder is usually said to imply that the perception of beauty is subjective.
The word first appeared in the 3rd Century BC in Greek. Benjamin
Franklin, in Poor Richard's Almanack, 1741, wrote: ‘Beauty, like supreme
dominion is but supported by opinion’.
Research suggests that we view
our loved ones through rose-tinted glasses that overlook the crooked noses,
bulging tummies or other attributes that might put others off. As a result,
husbands and wives/lovers think their other halves are more attractive than they
really are.
John Zimmerman once said ‘beauty
is often worse than wine; intoxication both the holder and beholder’. This I
agree with but I fault not the one possessed by beauty and intoxicated therein
because they have that which people strive to achieve.
My favourite saying however, is
that of Salma Hayek. According to him, ‘People often say that 'beauty is in the
eye of the beholder,' and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is
realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places
where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves’.
If we find beauty in ourselves,
then the unending search for the world’s definition of beauty ceases for us. The
moment you realise that you can choose to see what you want, you have achieved
the ultimate breakthrough of creating your own reality.
Remember, you are who you think
you are. Your bulging stomach, freckled nose, uneven teeth, crooked nose and
thin lips doesn’t define you. The goodness of your personality, the strength of
your focus and the love of yourself and everyone else makes you the true beauty
that you really are. Not the one that can be noticed at first, but that which
keeps you eternally beautiful in the eyes of the beholder.
Finally, I close in the words of Alfred
Sisley that I would love for you to always keep in mind. ‘Though the artist
must remain master of his craft, the surface, at times raised to the highest
pitch of loveliness, should transmit to the beholder the sensation which
possessed the artist’.
Note: I am a very pretty woman and I am proud of
it. The words inspired me and taught me a new way to appreciate others also.
