This Christmas: Think before you spend

by Myne Chukwu- Guest blogger

 It is the month of December, and already, the smell of Christmas is in the air. All around us, people are in a frenzy. Visit major markets and shopping malls and you will observe a shopping tsunami- people shopping like shopping is going out of fashion.

 Sadly, by the time January rolls around, most consumers have almost no money left and struggle to make it through the month. This has me both amazed and furious. How can people work so hard for their money from January to November, only to blow it all away in one month all in the name of Christmas? This year, don’t let Christmas trip you up. Think before you spend to avoid unnecessary financial strain.

You might be wondering how to do that. This article shows you a few tips on how you can spend wisely this Christmas.

 
1) PLAN EARLY FOR CHRISTMAS

Plan to do your Christmas shopping early. Know how much you have available to spend on Christmas and avoid using credit cards beyond a limit you can budget to pay back within a reasonable time frame.  Reflect on what is really important to you this Christmas and plan your spending accordingly to avoid financial and emotional stress.

 

2) BUY  WHAT YOU NEED, NOT  WHAT YOU WANT

Now that you have planned your shopping and are ready to hit the malls, rule number two is crucial. Only buy what you need.  How many times have we walked into a shop to buy a particular item, only to get distracted by other things not on our list, and certainly not on our budget. This happens to the best of us. If you are doing your Christmas shopping, endevour to buy what is necessary and needed for the moment as opposed to what is on our wish list. Make a list.  Try not to be tempted by strong advertising and marketing messages at Christmas time. Consider your priorities.Work out your budget and stick to it. Focus on essentials and forget about luxuries.

 3) NEVER OVERSPEND

Overspending during the festive season may lead to financial pressures that can have an overflow affect on relationships and may create family conflict – all the things individuals and families want to actually avoid during what’s meant to be a joyous season, right?

 4) NEVER BUY ON CREDIT.

Even worse than over spending is buying on credit. Folks, never ever buy an item on credit.This one should a no-brainer, right?  Funny how most of us lose sight of this when we are staring at all those 'must-haves' in the mall. If you don't have the cash to pay for an item at the point of purchase, please slowly and quietly bid it good bye. You don't want to start the new year with credit worries, trust me.

5) STAY WITHIN YOUR BUDGET

Last, but certainly not least, stay within your budget. I know we all wish we had limitless amount of cash to spend on just about anything this Christmas. Unfortunately, wishes aint perfume, else we'd all smell sweet. The key is to spend within our means.  It makes no sense to be buying things out of our financial reach simply because it is Christmas. If we can't afford it this year, there are certainly many more Christmases to come, right?  So before you take that gown off the rack, or eye those gorgeous pair of manolos, ask yourself, 'can I honestly afford this without hurting my bank account'? That way, you save yourself undue tortue and premature high blood pressure. (I just heard a God forbid from you. I agree with you too..lol)

So there folks, you have it. Wishing you all a smart spending Christmas and a financial-worry free New Year ahead.

Do you have any other suggestions, please tell us how we can manage our spending habits this season.

Snitches

28^th November 2013

Dear Journal,

Faced with a recent breach of trust, I recount countless times in the past that I have been betrayed. The feeling in my chest that suggests a burning knife has been sunk into my heart. The choked sobs that can’t seem to find its way past my chest and through my lips. The warm tears that run uninhibited down my cheeks for a long time, maybe hours. An inability to sleep because of the constant throbbing in my skull.

Worse still, the harsh words and mental kicks thrown at myself. ‘I should have known, my mind screams! I am usually a good judge of character!’ Why did I open myself so much for this to happen? I ask myself constantly. These questions characterised every betrayal by friends and family. I unleashed even more punishment on myself after every recent betrayal.

Lately, I have come to understand amidst the pain, that there is absolutely no way to keep from talking to friends and family. If they rat out on you, then they are just snitches who are unworthy of your trust. If they tell on you today, they will also tell on somebody else!

For all snitches who will read this article, I won’t ask you to stop snitching, no way! I won’t ask you to stop taking advantage of the openness of people like me who share our lives easily with you. We share, not because we are lonely, no. It is our way of making you feel like you are totally a part of our lives. It is a privilege we offer you to do as you like. The beauty of this friendship or love we offer, allows us to give friendly advice, have light-hearted banters, bad mouth all our exes, bad bosses and flings without fear of being found out. *hahahaha* Indeed, you are our sounding board!

So when you rat out on us, you hurt and disappoint us. The hurt won’t last for long but we will move on with our lives and everything will return to normal. But for you snitches, you will have very lonely lives when friends discover who you truly are. You will have to watch everything you say all your life for fear of being ratted out. You will have no trust for anyone because you are unworthy of trust.

Snitches do not know they can be caught easily. Well, I can catch any snitch alive. Remember the Game of Thrones? The dwarf did what you can do to catch every snitch in your life. Tell your friends different things and know instantly the one who tells on you.

You wonderful friends that have been or will be snitched on, this article is dedicated to you. You will always feel the pain when ratted out but you will always find who did and eliminate the person from your circle.

I hope this piece helps you all because it made me feel better writing it. Feel free to comment. Danke!  

NYSC- Where have all the corpers gone?

14^th November 2013

 Dear Journal,

It is no news that the current batch of corps members are currently in orientation camps having their first taste of the NYSC scheme. As I smiled at display pictures change with the standard all white attire that characterise corps members in camps, I took a ride through memory lane.

I remembered my days in camp and how much fun it was. My camp experience was beautiful and I met some interesting people at Obubra, Cross River where I served. However, I also had sad moments that made me question the importance of the NYSC scheme. Here is a peek into my frame of mind after the death of corps members in Bauchi, 2012.

“As I read about the burial of nine National Youth Service Corps Members in Bauchi State, My heart bled.  It was with dread, which has remained unabated till now, that we saw the stories about the NYSC members, detailing their sanguinary last hours. The horror of the inhuman and barbaric manner in which these young people, doing their duty by serving their fatherland, were massacred to death is beyond anything mere words can express. When will this end? I kept asking, but no answer came to mind. As tears coursed down my cheeks, I wondered if the pioneers of this scheme had foreseen the pain and mental torment that would come in future when they championed the scheme on 22^nd of May, 1973.

The essence of the Nigerian Youth Service Scheme was to establish a platform for mobilizing young people in early stage of leadership to learn to appreciate the diversity of Nigeria as a nation and ensure National Integration. This honourable scheme was to help youths from all parts of the country learn to appreciate the different cultures inherent in the country.

Right now, that is not the case. It seems to me that this feat cannot be achieved again seeing the situation confronting us. In the North, we hear about the deaths of corps members who were burnt, kidnapped, raped and finally killed in the course of duty. How long will this continue before the Director-General and his crew decide they have to do something about the deployment of corps members to the North.

How do we tell the parents of these vibrant youths that the evidence of all their sacrifices is gone? How do we console a mother whose only child has died? How do we tell families that their dreams concerning their children have been shattered? How do we teach the upcoming corps members to appreciate the cultures of other people especially the Northerners when there is so much loathing and contempt in their hearts?

I think the Minister of Youth Development should not worry about corps members posted to banks and other urban areas and worry about deploying corps members to peaceful regions of the country. States like Cross River, Rivers, Edo, Imo, Abia and a host of other places should be the kind of places where corps members should be sent. Besides being peaceful, there is so much to learn about their cultures and traditions and so much development that can be made to make these regions better places”.

Looking back to the above article, I do not think that my disposition has changed at all since then. For now, we have not heard a repeat of those deaths and we pray for continued peace. May the souls of the departed corps members rest in peace.

 

Beauty: In the eyes of the beholder, In the mind of the beholdee

23^rd October 2013

Dear Journal,

As I sat on my bed recounting all my days in the university, I couldn’t help but smile at some memories that gladdened my heart. I remembered the words of MC Erem while he was cracking his famous jokes in college. He said ‘beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and in the mind of the beholdee’. The overall joke was very funny and everyone in the hall roared with laughter but those words stuck in my mind and have been a source of inspiration.

Like so many things under the sun, the concept of beauty is constantly changing.  This elusive attribute for many is forever sought after by all sexes. For women, it was first characterised by heart-shaped faces, big bust lines, flat stomachs and rounded hips. Now it includes oval shaped faces and long faces with fuller lips than before. For men, it has not changed very much. A man who is tall, dark or light skinned, possesses chiselled features, broad shoulders amongst few other features is perceived as handsome or attractive.

As vain as people try to make beauty look, it is still people’s most prized possessions. It is the backdrop of their confidence and self-esteem. These are attributes that can enhance or impede success and therefore people lacking in those must be handled with compassion. A comment like ‘beauty is only skin deep’ is true but is usually made by people who were first attracted to it, stuck with it for a while and was maybe hurt and disappointed by it.

Beauty in the eyes of the beholder is usually said to imply that the perception of beauty is subjective. The word first appeared in the 3^rd Century BC in Greek. Benjamin Franklin, in Poor Richard's Almanack, 1741, wrote: ‘Beauty, like supreme dominion is but supported by opinion’.

Research suggests that we view our loved ones through rose-tinted glasses that overlook the crooked noses, bulging tummies or other attributes that might put others off. As a result, husbands and wives/lovers think their other halves are more attractive than they really are.

John Zimmerman once said ‘beauty is often worse than wine; intoxication both the holder and beholder’. This I agree with but I fault not the one possessed by beauty and intoxicated therein because they have that which people strive to achieve.

My favourite saying however, is that of Salma Hayek. According to him, ‘People often say that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves’.

If we find beauty in ourselves, then the unending search for the world’s definition of beauty ceases for us. The moment you realise that you can choose to see what you want, you have achieved the ultimate breakthrough of creating your own reality.

Remember, you are who you think you are. Your bulging stomach, freckled nose, uneven teeth, crooked nose and thin lips doesn’t define you. The goodness of your personality, the strength of your focus and the love of yourself and everyone else makes you the true beauty that you really are. Not the one that can be noticed at first, but that which keeps you eternally beautiful in the eyes of the beholder.

Finally, I close in the words of Alfred Sisley that I would love for you to always keep in mind. ‘Though the artist must remain master of his craft, the surface, at times raised to the highest pitch of loveliness, should transmit to the beholder the sensation which possessed the artist’.

Note: I am a very pretty woman and I am proud of it. The words inspired me and taught me a new way to appreciate others also.

An Ordeal to Remember

 September 4th 2013

 Dear Journal,

 I have never thought that I would be this angry in my entire life! I can’t believe how a one hour trip from Lagos to Calabar turned into a 2 day trip! Before you say that I am overreacting, please read the full details of the reason for my mood.

 I woke up at 5:30am on the 4th of September and headed very early to the airport to my destination, Calabar (which is where I currently reside).

On arrival, I encountered the first hurdle- I was 52kg overweight! I was not happy at all having to pay more than my flight money for just luggage but for the sake of convenience, I did.

Having gone through the necessary process of getting aboard the plane, I sighed with satisfaction when we took off. Finally, heading home at last after a great weekend completing my task with a wonderful friend.

I slept off after a while only to wake up to the feeling that we have been on the plane for too long. Being awake now, I immediately noticed that our plane was hovering over the Calabar airport but couldn't land because of the bad weather.

Then came the voice of the pilot saying that due to heavy rain and winds, the plane is unable to land in Calabar and a diversion will be made to Port Harcourt.

Being my sensible self, I didn't complain or worry, I knew there was no cause for alarm and we'll be back in Calabar in no time. Little did I know that I will receive the shock of my life soon enough. I was starving at this time because I didn't eat the snack served on the plane. (don't judge me, I am vegetarian and chicken pie doesn’t fall under the veggie food)

When we landed in Port Harcourt, I reached for my bag that had a pack of granola bars and nibbled on those in the hope that this diversion wouldn't be for long. (I was in for a surprise)

We waited for a really long time; maybe an hour and a half before a voice was heard through the microphone (this time female). She said that because the weather conditions have not improved in Calabar, we have been advised to either disembark or return to Lagos with the plane.

I felt very horrible seeing that I had that entire luggage to drag by road to Calabar but I was thinking that a vehicle will not be a problem since provision will be made for us by Aero Contractors. With that thought, I disembarked and wrote my name in a piece of paper as instructed and waited.

To my amazement, I saw the Aero team removing all our luggage from the plane. As if that wasn't bad enough, they were giving people their luggage on the runway! 

I mentally started to resign myself to the possibility that no arrangement has been made for us to be transported to Calabar but I wouldn't accept this stupid act of handing out luggage at the runway *eyes rolling*. I have to admit it was partly for the selfish reason that I might have to haul 74kg worth of luggage through the airport until I get a taxi.

 I walked up to one member of the team and firmly asked that they take the entire luggage to arrivals and let us claim our luggage there. Of course, I didn't fail to point out my dilemma to him. Surprisingly, he saw reasons with me and suggested that it be done as I requested (I was already gearing up for a debate)

It was a small victory but I couldn't help the anger I felt towards Aero especially after I found out that the Arik flight from Abuja had landed in Calabar. What hurt more was the fact that the Arik flight from Lagos that diverted to Port Harcourt later went back to Calabar barely half an hour after we disembarked.

I think we, Nigerians put up with the unfair treatment of these airlines and that is why the situation persists. How many people will demand compensation for that dreadful experience? How many people will refuse to fly Aero Contractors again due to that treatment? How many of us will write a petition against Aero to the aviation authorities until we find the answers we want?  How many of us will even keep asserting ourselves until the verdict is in our favour? How many of us will even entertain the thought of suing Aero?

I know that lots of people will even find this funny or ridiculous. People have even said to me “Sharon, this is not America or the UK, things don’t work like that here” Maybe it doesn’t, but does it hurt to dream that something will at least come out of it. If we can’t dream, can we achieve? Even if eventually nothing comes out of it, will we keep trying?

Well, I don’t need anyone’s encouragement to write my petition and I will follow up until something comes out of it. Feel free to comment please and provide details on the best way forward and how situations like this can be handled better in the future.

Intermittent fasting, the key?

Dear Journal,

Just when I thought I couldn’t know more about proper eating habits, I stumbled on an article on the fastdiet.co.uk website. The first topic that caught my eye amongst others was that of “intermittent fasting”. When I looked at it, I felt a little cynical about it because I have always had the opinion that starving would only make your body hoard fat and all those carbohydrates that you want it to burn off.

Anyway, I just read through because I am a curious person by nature and I would like to give their opinions a listening ear at least. I learnt about the fascinating technique of intermittent fasting with the 5:2 regimes by Michael. Because it would be too much work to summarise all I have learnt (which I really don’t want to summarise anyway), I’ll take excerpts from the work and let you enjoy the pleasure of reading it yourself.

“We all know how you are supposed to lose weight: eat low-fat foods, exercise more… and never, ever skip meals. This has been standard dietary advice for decades and though it may work for some people, levels of obesity continue to soar. So is there an alternative? We think there is. Intermittent fasting. Based on the work of leading scientists from around the world, this is an exciting new alternative to standard dieting.

Intermittent Fasting does not mean stopping eating entirely. It means reducing the amount you eat, but only for quite short periods of time.

In The Fast Diet book I outline my experiences of trying different forms of intermittent fasting, before settling on what I called a 5:2 regime. With 5:2 intermittent fasting you eat normally five days a week and diet two days a week, cutting your calorie intake for those two days to a ¼ of their normal level. This means that on, say, a Monday and a Thursday you will eat 500 calories if you are a woman, 600 if you are a man.

If you stick to this plan then you should lose around 1lb (0.46kg) a week if you are a woman, slightly more for a man. Success also depends on not over-eating on your normal days.

You should not only lose weight but also enjoy a wide range of health benefits. Studies of intermittent fasting show that not only do people see improvements in blood pressure and their cholesterol levels, but also in their insulin sensitivity.

As one of the medical experts I interviewed put it: ‘There is nothing else you can do to your body that is as powerful as fasting.’

Welcome to The Fast Diet and to the community on this site. We will keep you up to date with the latest in this exciting new field. You can read how others are managing this way of life and pick up lots of helpful tips. We hope it works for you”.

Having read all that, I don’t know about you but I am willing to try this method for a short while and see what promise it holds for me. *wink* Till next time! Always a pleasure writing to you guys, you rock!

THE QUEST- EATING TO ACHIEVE THE DESIRED RESULTS

August 13^th 2013

Dear Journal,

Having mastered the exercises, I have also started making adjustments to my food. What this means is that I have decided to cook my own meals with healthy recipes from around the world and eat moderately to get the desired effect. According to Vanessa, I have to eat five to six times a day. Small portions, no more than a handful and not that 3 meal plan that everyone think is best. Of course, when she said that, I almost wrung her neck! Didn’t she understand that I was trying to achieve a perfect figure? But common sense got ahead of my emotions and I asked her to explain better.

In a Vanessa like way, she said “what happens is the ‘three times a day’ thing is crap and you end up snacking on crap in between because the body needs nutrient. When your body senses it’s being starved, it goes into starvation mode, hoards calories, and when you starve more, it hoards more”.

Having this knowledge, I decided to up my fruits and veggies, take more water; a glass before and after my meals and more in between to be precise. I have almost cut out processed foods after ‘the talk’ with V (fond name for my fitness coach, Vanessa). I have learnt that my body do not know what to do with all processed foods and usually moves it to the usual areas of fat deposit which for many is the stomach. The trick is not to completely give up all the junk now so one can stick to the plan as eating junk on occasion might even be ideal!

 I have also found that drinking a protein shake before going to bed is good practice. It is common knowledge that when one sleeps, one is fasting and one’s metabolism slows down but protein shakes help to keep it going. It is liquid, easy to digest, it’s protein so it’s going to your muscles, not to the fat cells. My favourite is Complan protein shake in strawberry and chocolate flavours! *grins* no advert intended.

When I started to think of scrapping dinner entirely, I was advised against it by Vanessa. She suggested that I write a list of things I know are healthy, good to eat and accessible to me so I can plan my meals before-hand as I am more likely to stick with it that way. Fruits, veggies, plantain (preferably boiled and roasted), and eggs (preferably boiled or fried with only enough oil to grease the pan). Knowing my love for wheat bread and sandwiches, she also suggested that I become creative and come up with exciting mixtures like putting fruits like bananas, nuts, tomatoes and apples in my sandwiches.

So far, I have consistently made sure that I have a cucumber or banana to snack on before lunch after a healthy breakfast of whole wheat bread or whole grain pasta with eggs. I have also made sure that I don’t run out of nuts in my house as I have noticed that they help to fill me up.

This whole fitness regime has got me spending less money on junks, curbing my craving for sugar with fruits like apples and carrots that I now snack on and making see the importance of veggies in giving me the perfect body (especially my tummy *winks*)

I hope you have learnt as much as I have. I will keep you all posted on my progress still. Until then, Danke sehr!

THE QUEST CONTINUES 2

10^th August 2013

Dear journal,

I lie in pain from the three ‘simple’ exercises I was asked to do! Truth be told, I only did one and my stomach hurts like hell!

Having read the Times of India yesterday, I decided to adopt the tummy trimming exercises highlighted. Of course in the beginning, they made it sound very easy and exciting, *eyes rolling* I should have known better.

Here is the quote that made me think I can have it easy ‘Don’t want to end up injured or exhausted? Don’t overdo things on the workout front. Instead, aim for a brisk 20 minute walk everyday to burn fat, plus do the following exercises to help tone your abdominal muscles’

Well, that got me thinking it was going to be very enjoyable especially since workout is such hard work. The workouts suggested included bicycle crunch, the boat and the plank. I did the bicycle crunch but before you roll your eyes at me, I have to say it was pretty difficult!

Bicycle crunch: Lie down with your back pressed onto the floor. Bring your hands behind your head. Starting with your legs bent at 45 degree angle, bring the right knee into the chest while straightening out your left leg. At the same time, rotate your top half so your left elbow goes to your right knee, then switch to the other side. Repeat for one minute, three times a day.

Try this one with me and see how you react to it. It might sound simple and it is NOT but it is very effective. I look forward to your comments and what you think of the bicycle crunch.

THE QUEST CONTINUES

Dear Journal,

Having shared my quest with my friends, I wake up with the sense of responsibility not to disappoint myself or friends.

I am sure that my struggle to drag my sleepy body off the softness of my bed, wear workout clothes and hit the road didn’t come across as being unserious.

The words of Vanessa kept resounding in my head as I jogged and sprinted. This new jogging and sprinting routine was adopted after I had complained that I have been running for months now and haven’t seen any changes in my appearance. Hmmm. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut because the ‘lecture’ from Vanessa began and it wasn’t a real lecture, it was more a Vanessa-like admonishment.

She began: Sharon, cardio burns fat when done right. Strength training does too but what it really does is build lean muscle, which burns fat even when you’re not working out. What you need is a combination of cardio (which you’re already doing) and strength training. For the cardio, interval training; jog 3 minutes, sprint 2 etc is best. You’ll get nowhere if you keep doing the same thing the same way every day with no increase in intensity or change.

In fact, if you can, find a way to get Jillian’s workouts, trust me you’ll be pleased. I recommend you start with her “30 day shred”. The thirty day shred is a combination of strength and cardio. All you need are 3 pound dumbbells and a little space.

Damn! She had read my mind with that last sentence, I was going to say it rains so hard in Calabar that I can’t do all that hard stuff in Jillian’s training outdoors. Oh well, C’est la vie. I have taken her advice and I really love the jog and sprint experience more than just running alone.

I look forward to the next batch of workouts that she’ll throw my way. I am well on my way! It might not be a huge change yet but I am certain that if I cast the stone across the waters, I will make many ripples.

Jusqu'à ce que nous parler a nouveau.

 

QUEST FOR THE PERFECT BODY

Dear journal, this is my first time of writing in my blog and God help me, I’m so nervous!
Would I fit into the blogging world or would I just be in the category of those that suck? Well there is only one way to find out, I am going to lift my chin high like my nose is bleeding and write!

I begin my journal of serendipity with the QUEST FOR THE PERFECT BODY!

Over the years, I have seen ladies groan with frustration at the sight of their bodies in the mirror. I have seen men’s self esteem plummet to nothing because they are embarrassed about their body. I had always wondered why they all were dissatisfied with their bodies and being miserable for nothing. I wouldn’t have been in so much of a hurry to judge them if I had known what the future held in store for me.

Not long after my observation, I found out that the media, age, social class, gender and ethnicity play huge roles in creating body dissatisfaction. At the time of this realisation, I was already neck-deep in the same misery with my body.

The biggest problem for me at the time was that I thought I could continue living on junk foods while I take lots of slimming/weight loss pills and tea to give me the desired shape. Well, I thought wrong and it took me five years to understand that the sooner I made changes to my eating habits, the better for me. I realised that if I do not employ a little ‘attitude adjustment’ and change my eating habit very quickly, I was signing in for a life of depression and dissatisfaction.

So here I am two years after, a semi-vegetarian (I eat fish, shrimps and lobsters) and a freak for healthy living. I am not there yet but every day, I work towards achieving my perfect body. I have come to realise that the perfect body isn’t the same for all; what is perfect for me won’t be perfect for someone else. I love my current size 10 figure but I am working hard to get rid of the stomach that I acquired over the years with all that junk food.

My friend/fitness coach, Vanessa has suggested a blog will help me monitor my daily progress and make me more responsible as lots of people will be able to share their ideas, stories and experiences with me.

Please post your comment and advice as I would love to learn from anyone who has got an experience to share.

 

Note: Perfect to me is healthy and fit not skinny and anorexic.